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3 months later ...

 I have yet to post much lately.  Honestly, it is because I am not sure what to say or think, or if I say it aloud, then maybe it is real.  Again, the uncertainty has paralyzed me.  In January I felt pretty amazing.  Around eight weeks out, when I should have originally returned to work, I understood why they told you to wait till 8 weeks for your recovery.  My mind was growing clearer, my wound was starting to not hurt nearly as bad, and I felt an energy I had not experienced in so long.  It was fantastic.  I was productive at work, able to process and plan in ways I had forgotten I could do.  Then February came.  I am not sure if it was the incidental accident of me hitting my head early in the month or if it would have happened anyway but pain became the thing that consumed me for the entire month. A new kind of pain, bone pain, nerve pain, and maybe a pain I still am not sure how to describe.  I could not lay on my head again, a...
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Recover and the Plans After Surgery

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This may shock and amaze some, but the recovery from deep brain surgery is a two-week period. I have been told that I should not run a marathon or anything, but I should be up and moving, using my brain as much as normal.  If you think about someone who has had hip surgery, they must get up and start walking quickly after surgery. It hurts, but that pain will turn into progress if they move. Brain surgery, if I start using my brain, the pain will also turn into synapsis firing, brain reconnecting, and recovery will be more progressive.  The most amount of pain will come from the skull/bone pain. However, if you break your arm, you are put in a cast, and you return to work within a few days, this pain will be similar.  There is no muscle to go through, simply skin, bone, and brain tissue. The brain technically does not have pain. It receives pain sensors from the other parts of the body and relies on the information but can not feel pain itself.  In recovery, I am tol...
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Meeting Dr. Ian Dunn

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Mom and I went to the city, OKC, on Halloween day to meet with the neurosurgeon Ian Dunn.  He walks into the room, and you can feel his confidence.  It was not a prideful or boastful confidence but the confidence of a man who has worked hard to get to where he is in his profession. He was kind, had great patient-provider connections, and was honest with everything.  During the first part of the visit, he reviewed my updated MRIs and showed us a better picture of the tumor. He shared how it is potentially touching a nerve and maybe a vessel and how he will preserve the nerve and vessel and leave tissue of the tumor if needed. Dunn shared the tumor will rarely, or never, come back.  He has never seen one return in his experience.  Mom asked about cancer and his previous cases.  Dunn does fewer than five cases yearly, and I will be number four in 2023.  It is rare to need this surgery. In the twenty-four cases he has ever performed, he has only seen patho...
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