Today I had a terrible hour. The worst possibly as a mom. It started out with all the great possibilities, then crashed without even a warning.
Today, I prepared both boys to go to town, shop at Walmart and Sams, we were going to stop at part to break up shopping time and maybe, just maybe chick-fil-a! Boys got dressed easily, ate good breakfast, got in car with only having one pair of shoes to change cause E jumped in water puddle. It was a good start. Then, mom texted and asked if B could play with cousins! What? He of couse chose cousins over park and my new plan was a quick in and out of shopping with E.
On way to town, he fell asleep. I waited easily in parking lot as I sat in silence and played on my phone. He woke and we proceeded into wm. All was going good. In and out of cart, walking, talking, picking out toy to play with. Then it happens. This child changes....I can't describe it but he morphs into something else. He gets angered easily, runs, has super strength, and can scream louder and at a pitch not made for this world.
I use verbal re-enforcement, verbal discipline, I use spanking, I force him to be belted in basket, all to no avail...in fact it gets worse. The looks start coming, and coming, and coming. Not all of them are parent shaming, most, but some of the glad it is not my kid look. Not much better. We race to the back bathroom. There we do joint time out as I talk to him about calming down. I am using all my strength to hold him, the Super strength us no joke. He relaxes. I relax. He jolts to the door opening and running again. Timeout, phase 2....with same result. Foolish mommy, I learn on timeout phase 3 to not let go as he relaxes. Then God's warrior came in.
I am in tears, on the bathroom floor of wm, holding my screaming 21 month old and trying to figure out what to do. I am lost, weak and tired. I feel like mommy failure. He always sends his angels at the right time.
Thank you Wm mommy, for asking if I am okay.
Thank you for encouraging me.
Thank you for no looks but the look of love.
Thank you for laughing with me as I cried.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for talking to my baby.
Thank you for taking the time and being real.
Thank you got not judging.
Thank you for understanding, knowing, this mommy business is hard.
We may never encounter each other again, but you made today better, and my tomorrow's too. I pray God uses me like He just used you.
Matthew 25:40 NLT
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’