Then there was marriage...

Then there was marriage...

Sunday, June 5, 2016


So I got tgis fun new app called Influenster. You review products or check the review of products you may be interested in. You can also do quick snaps or surveys and tell them what you think. I received a box in the mail containing Maybelline #vividmatte lip color. Two shades. They were fun to try. The whole thing was to try new proctuct snd review on it. No money, no attachments just review the product and report on it.
My review...they were just okay. Didn't stay on long, didn't dry fast, which is why I think it came off fast. The colors were nice nude and rebel red.
So that is my thought. Try the app, fun to use and better than facebook. Lol

Friday, May 1, 2015

Thank you Walmart mom

Today I had a terrible hour. The worst possibly as a mom. It started out with all the great possibilities,  then crashed without even a warning.

Today, I prepared both boys to go to town, shop at Walmart and Sams, we were going to stop at part to break up shopping time and maybe, just maybe chick-fil-a! Boys got dressed easily, ate good breakfast, got in car with only having one pair of shoes to change cause E jumped in water puddle. It was a good start.  Then, mom texted and asked if B could play with cousins! What? He of couse chose cousins over park and my new plan was a quick in and out of shopping with E.

On way to town, he fell asleep. I waited easily in parking lot as I sat in silence and played on my phone. He woke and we proceeded into wm. All was going good. In and out of cart, walking, talking, picking out toy to play with. Then it happens. This child changes....I can't describe it but he morphs into something else.  He gets angered easily,  runs, has super strength,  and can scream louder and at a pitch not made for this world.
I use verbal re-enforcement, verbal discipline, I use spanking, I force him to be belted in basket,  all to no fact it gets worse. The looks start coming, and coming, and coming. Not all of them are parent shaming, most, but some of the glad it is not my kid look. Not much better. We race to the back bathroom. There we do joint time out as I talk to him about calming down. I am using all my strength to hold him, the Super strength us no joke. He relaxes. I relax. He jolts to the door opening and running again. Timeout, phase 2....with same result. Foolish mommy, I learn on timeout phase 3 to not let go as he relaxes. Then God's warrior came in.

I am in tears, on the bathroom floor of wm, holding my screaming 21 month old and trying to figure out what to do. I am lost, weak and tired. I feel like mommy failure. He always sends his angels at the right time.

Thank you Wm mommy, for asking if I am okay.
Thank you for encouraging me.
Thank you for no looks but the look of love.
Thank you for laughing with me as I cried. 
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for talking to my baby.
Thank you for taking the time and being real.
Thank you got not judging.
Thank you for understanding,  knowing, this mommy business is hard.

We may never encounter each other again, but you made today better, and my tomorrow's too. I pray God uses me like He just used you.

Matthew 25:40 NLT

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Thank You Park Mom

Thank you Park Mom!

Thank you got sitting on the bench.
Thank you for allowing the kids to play, untethered from you.
Thank you for not barking orders on how to play on slide, going up or down.
Thank you for sending your kids back to play as they try and tattle.
Thank you for not freaking out when my 21 month old hits your 4 year old.
Thank you got knowing kids are kids.
Thank you for taking time for yourself as they play.
Thank you for wearing your yoga pants, thst have never been to yoga,  to the park too. No fancy dress up here.
Thank you for being real.

Today, you make me smile. Today, I did not feel alone. Today, I knew my laid back parenting style is not isolated to my kids.

Titus 2:4 NLT

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Craziness going on

Do you ever feel like you are just not sure what to do?
Like what I give is not enough?
Like what I desire is too selfish?
Like my job is too insignificant? 

With all the craziness going on in the world, I do not want to be lukewarm. I don't want to be stuck in a comfortable rut that is not making a difference.

If Christ came back tomorrow would I be seen by the Lord as someone serving him or just a follower, not a leader/disciple?

My current job keeps me in on my toes. I know it is one of those jobs that Christ designed for me. But is simply teaching my kids to know, love and serve God enough or should I be doing more? Is serving my husband with love, food, comfort and friendship of marriage really honorable to the maker of my soul?

Should I use my time to stand up more on social media to the blatant sin some find casual?  Should I post bible verses? Should I judge less and love more graciously?

I don't know the answers.

But for today, I will seek Him more than I did yesterday. Tell Him I love Him more. Love those I get to be around more.

Today that is my answer,  wonder what it will be like tomorrow...

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Upside Down In Love Crazy

I want to be that little girl again that sits and thinks about that Great Love all day, that when it walks by I swoon for simply being in the room.  I remember feeling that way about a few boys in my early childhood.  I would think about what they would say to me, how it would be if they would only see me for who I knew I was, if they would fall feet over head in love with me like I felt about them. My emotions were strong, they were not hidden.  Everyone from my parents, brothers, family members, friends, well, the whole school, including my crush knew I was crazy for them.  I can remember trying think how do I keep such passion from exploding out of me.  It consumed me.

Now I am an adult.  Not a child.  My Great Love in human form lays next to me each night and calls me beautiful each day. His love for me still puts me in awe each day.  I know God is real because of him, I know I am precious to God because of how he treats me.


I still crave.   My early cravings in adolescence for love and friendship have morphed to craving the ONE TRUE GOD, Creator, Heaven Shaker, Human lover.  I want to know what he wants with me. What can I do for Him?  How can I be used to His fullest potential?  Will it fill this craving?  Will it change my world? What about the world of my boys and husband?

How do I follow his voice if I feel he is simply being silent? I do not feel he is not there, simply waiting to see if I will obey, but I am not totally sure the command.  I read recently on a picture post a quote.  Not sure who it is from but it feels like my situation.  The quote simply read, "The teacher is always silent during the test." YES!  This is how I feel.  I know he is near, I know he is watching but what am I testing.  Will I bless him or will I sadden him with my choice?  Does it matter what I do, as long as, I am trying to seek him and follow him?  Too many questions go through my head. I search his word but.... well, I am not sure.  Nothing seems to fit the situation like so many times when I have read something and BOOM, it felt like his audible voice speaking to that part of my heart that needed spoken to.

For now, I will wait patiently on the Lord, for he is good.

  • Psalms 27:14 (KJV)

    Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

To scratch a craving

My heart is craving for creativity, craving to be used to its full power, shout out to the universe my knowledge,  unknowing questions, to pound upon the sky and scream all my desperation but still I am here. Waiting. Waiting for the still small voice to call out and press me forward.

I know, I know, I have the task of raising my boys, of being as wife and mother. Oh how I love those jobs but I can not help that I was created for even more to be added. I want to glory in his glory by shining as he has equipt me.

I seek, I search, I dig and the answers all come up the same....not yet, stop, patient, almost, sit still. It is painful. It is hard. I know later I will reply the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" over and over in my head as a thanks (I have done it so many times before) but nonetheless it is still hard.

Till God moves..

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Moments as a Mom

Not too many moments as a Mom gross me out. I have a steel stomach for the most part, I think God prepared me for having boys, I always wanted boys. 

I read a blog today about raising all boys and as I read through I had experienced or accepted I would experience each experience the mother was stating. 1) boys are dirty 2) boys play rough and loud 3) I will one day be known as the mother-in-law and ect. These things and so much more I get, I accept, I love but today I don't want to see again!

We are potty training my almost three year old son. We have been in this process for awhile and for the most part it has gone well. We are held up on the pooping in potty. I often find my son hiding under tables, in closets, under blankets and pooping in his totally adorable toddler super hero underwear and boxers. I can handle this, I don't love it but a simple wash in potty, spray in sink and wipe the boy down and we are back to clean. This is not how it went today.

Today, I found my totally sweet boy under table, told boy to go to bathroom,  cleaned underwear, made boy sit on potty to help him realize it is normal,  cleaned him when he said he was totally done, then requested him to got get new underwear on and get dressed.  He is a great kid, typically obeys shockingly well for a 2/3 year old.  I then proceeded to take dirty clothes to laundry room and get on with my day.  I saw our 1 year old son follow me and reach up on the kitchen table to grab last of the chicken nuggets from lunch, my only thought way old nugget, that won't taste so great.  After a few minutes in laundry room, I went to go get rest of clothes from bedrooms. 

That is when it began.  At end of the hallway my big boy was in panic mode.  His hands were covered,  I couldn't tell what it was till he said it.  "Mom, I popped!"  With new eyes I looked around. Poop all over carpet, all over the boy, clothes all over floor that this sweet boy had tried to use to clean himself. Immediately,  he was stripped and thrown in bath tub. I am still good at this point. I can deal with poop but what happened next was grotesque.  My little man will hear a bath and run to it. He loves bathes, he will not let anyone in our house bath without first trying climb his way into bath himself. So as I am kneeling next to tub I look next to me and this crazy 1 year old is double fisting two chicken nuggets with his chubby hands, face, and arms covered in poop. My stomach starts to heave. My baby is eating poop covered chicken nuggets. Let's just say I am thankful I was in bathroom. 

I am done. My steel stomach is weakened, as is my resolve.

Okay God,  what can I learn from this? 

Praying tomorrow is better and soon we look back and laugh,  who am I kidding. .. Bobby is already laughing.