Clary Love

Today I had a terrible hour. The worst possibly as a mom. It started out with all the great possibilities,  then crashed without even a warning. Today, I prepared both boys to go to town, shop at Walmart and Sams, we were going to stop at part to break up shopping time and maybe, just maybe chick-fil-a! Boys got dressed easily, ate good breakfast, got in car with only having one pair of shoes to change cause E jumped in water puddle. It was a good start.  Then, mom texted and asked if B could play with cousins! What? He of couse chose cousins over park and my new plan was a quick in and out of shopping with E. On way to town, he fell asleep. I waited easily in parking lot as I sat in silence and played on my phone. He woke and we proceeded into wm. All was going good. In and out of cart, walking, talking, picking out toy to play with. Then it happens. This child changes....I can't describe it but he morphs into something else.  He gets angered easily,  runs, has super strength, 

Thank you Park Mom! Thank you got sitting on the bench. Thank you for allowing the kids to play, untethered from you. Thank you for not barking orders on how to play on slide, going up or down. Thank you for sending your kids back to play as they try and tattle. Thank you for not freaking out when my 21 month old hits your 4 year old. Thank you got knowing kids are kids. Thank you for taking time for yourself as they play. Thank you for wearing your yoga pants, thst have never been to yoga,  to the park too. No fancy dress up here. Thank you for being real. Today, you make me smile. Today, I did not feel alone. Today, I knew my laid back parenting style is not isolated to my kids. Titus 2:4 NLT These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children

Do you ever feel like you are just not sure what to do? Like what I give is not enough? Like what I desire is too selfish? Like my job is too insignificant?  With all the craziness going on in the world, I do not want to be lukewarm. I don't want to be stuck in a comfortable rut that is not making a difference. If Christ came back tomorrow would I be seen by the Lord as someone serving him or just a follower, not a leader/disciple? My current job keeps me in on my toes. I know it is one of those jobs that Christ designed for me. But is simply teaching my kids to know, love and serve God enough or should I be doing more? Is serving my husband with love, food, comfort and friendship of marriage really honorable to the maker of my soul? Should I use my time to stand up more on social media to the blatant sin some find casual?  Should I post bible verses? Should I judge less and love more graciously? I don't know the answers. But for today, I will seek Him more than I did