Clary Love

This is the week in which we all say goodbye to the 2023 year and begin to prepare for the birth of the 2024 year.  Many will celebrate the transition by cleaning their spaces and planning New Year's Eve parties, and a few will take moments to reflect on the year leaving and make space and plan for the year to come.   I do a little of all of these things I suppose.  I am already slowly placing the holiday décor in piles to be put away till next year.  It is a bittersweet time as I love holiday decorations up in my house, which create such a cozy atmosphere.  I am also trying to be intentional about reflecting on the year passing.  Last year was a year full of mourning and grief, this year has been a year full of discovery of health concerns and the beginning of healing.  Each year I pray and claim a word for the year, and as I focus on that word, I grow in its definition.  I seek out bible verses, quotes, and stories that will help me be challenged to be a better person, better bel

Recovery is not linear and I am not a fan.   Last week I was bragging on how well I was doing, how great I felt, and this week, well I am not bragging today.  I have journaled in detailed about the thirteen days after surgery for my own records.  It is emotional and raw and I am just coming to terms with the pain and emotions that I went through.  I am not sure if I can every forget those days. That are so present, it feels like the same memories of childbirth but without the beautiful ending of seeing a sweet boy in my arms at the crest of the pain.   The first eight days after surgery were the worst.  It was a pain that I would not wish on my worst enemy, if I had one. I was constantly icing my head and taking meds. Bobby and the boys loved me tirelessly, serving, supporting, and trying to help.  When that pain finally started to relieve I thought, wow, this is so much better. I thought I should be doing things, going places and I did.  I now regret so much of the actions I took.  Th