Six months

Six months later, Happy birthday and the worst anniversary ever to celebrate. Six months of insanity and confusion have ensued.

You have missed mom's 70th birthday that you were so excited to plan and both your sons' birthdays. 

You have missed your 49th wedding anniversary.

You have missed three of your grandkids' birthdays and soon the other three. 

You have missed watching Chloe grow in motherhood through pregnancy. 

You missed job acceptances, changes, and so many challenging conversations you were needed for with all the solicited and unsolicited advice.

Your absence has caused confusion, pain, sadness, strange relief, joy, fear, and all emotions. 

Your grandkids have changed so much in six months, more than any other year—height, weight, courage, education, intellect, family, athlete, and faith. 

Relationships are challenged, strengthened, bonded, divided, paralyzed, and still in limbo in the wake of your death. 

The pool has been crazy, the weather is hot, and your people seriously miss you. 

We need you, your kids, wife, siblings, and grandkids; your son-&-daughter-in-laws need you. 

Why are you not here? 

I know to say there is a time for everyone to live and die, but I don't believe it was yours. I am still mad, and I do not believe I am alone. 

I trust God has a plan. But never does it say in his word I must like it. 

We had steak and a drink in your honor, sat by the pool in the most ideal story weather in months and felt all the feelings. 

I Love you. Present tense, in the here and now, and I pray that never changes. 




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