The days are shorter

Since November 1st has come, the days have felt shorter. 16 days, 15 days, 10 days, 7 days, ... and as I write this, it is only 5 days away. The emotions over the last few weeks have been different. I am striving to continue to hold on to peace from God and not the fear of this world. 

My family strives to hold on to peace from God, but it is not easy. 

However, in the midst of this, my boys are thriving. Blaine received Student of the Month for Inola Middle School, and Elijah was crowned King of the ESA Carnival after raising over five hundred dollars for the school. Both boys were brought to the School Board meeting to be honored. What beautiful humans they are and the great men they are growing into. However, I am most proud of how they love Jesus and others. I know they strive to see how to do such a simple and challenging task daily, and that is the joy that they are learning and growing. 

Due to Pre-OP, I had to miss the Board Meeting and the Veterans program Elijah was in.  I had blood drawn, an EKG, and a chest scan, and I met with the anesthesiologist to prepare for surgery. On the way home, I wanted to cry. I wanted to let out the stress, but no tears will come. 

By the time I got home, my head was in a massive migraine.  These are the times I am looking forward to being past. Bobby is amazing; he loves, cares, and supports me to get through these times, but I hate the feeling that my head hurts so bad that I can not love on my family but simply want to turn the lights out and sleep, praying when I wake, there is less pain. 

I am in constant planning mode.  How much work can I get done before surgery? How can I get the house clean before surgery? Should I put Christmas decorations up before surgery to avoid needing help afterward?  If you know me, I don't need to plan for food, Bobby has that in hand, but still, I wonder what I need to get from the store to help them have the things they need. Is there healthy foods like carrots and celery they can snack on?  It feels a bit like nesting before a new baby is brought into the house. There was only so much I could do when I was pregnant, but I wanted to do it all before the boys arrived. I wanted to be prepared and make the house warm and comfy, but the tiredness, restrictions, and time went so fast. I know that is the same for now. I can only do so much. So when I am feeling good, I am in full beast mode, trying to prepare.  This may be the reason you need to pray for my family... I can get a bit cookoo, lol. 

We are filling the weekend with fun, family and friends. We surround ourselves with people who are invested and love us. We plan to worship hard this weekend with our church family. 

Bobby has another big test on Wednesday before we head down to OKC to stay the night. A sweet friend has offered her house for us and Mom and Bobby to stay while I am in the hospital. My surgery is at 7 am on Thursday, so we will arrive bright and early by 5 am to prepare. Another dear friend has prepared coins and dollars for them to grab food from the vending machine and get snacks. I have received a blanket, pajamas, food cards, and so much love.  However, the prayers will always be the gift that even unseen and unheard by me; I know this is the gift with the most power, the most promise, the gift that the Creator uses. 

Thank you to all who are reading and praying. I pray somehow my journey is giving you hope and love along the way. I know you are giving me joy and love in return.