Clary Love

On the eve of my thirty-third year I feel the need to reflect a bit. Jesus did such amazing things in his 33rd year, although I am sure he did amazing things each year of his life. I can not compare to Jesus but I can give him all the glory for the life I have had and have.  Born Laura Denae Cook on December 19th, at 11:55pm I disrupted my father's Christmas work party hours earlier as my mother started to get herself dinner. No dinner and no going home to get the bag as I was due to come the 20th and their third child it would not be a lengthy labor. My mother was determined to have me on the 19th, as she feared from a dream if I was born on the 20th I would be her third son and not her anticipate first daughter. With five minutes to spare, here I am a girl! I arrived home Christmas Eve or day, not sure, to two brothers. Not what they were wanting under the tree that year but hey they grew to love me. Raised in a house of love and lots of fun I never knew how blessed I was till ...

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Got a phone call this afternoon that is always hard to hear, someone you love(d) passed away.  Gerald Burk was not just someone I knew or onced loved. He was a angel God sent into my life at a very young age to show me unconditional, Godly love. I called him Grandpa Gerald since I can remember and all through school he loved me as a grandaughter. When I moved back to Inola and worked for the church at age 26 he acted like I never left after high school. Each time I saw him I got a huge hug and eyes that looked into and told you "I care," the same loved I received each Sunday since I was a wee child.   One summer, my first at camp, Gerald was my best friend. I had no friends, no girls wanted to sleep by me, play or go to classes with me. No one wanted to sit by me at chapel but Gerald did. He walked me to breakfast, classes, canteen and during free time sat next to me and encouraged the skill of people watching (or boy watching). He was amazing. Taught me the one key fact th...

Last night was the last night Bobby and I would put just one boy to bed, pray over one boy, read God's word to just one boy and anticipate tears sometime in the night through the monitor from just one boy. This morning would be the last morning I go get just one boy after a tearful awakening, put just one boy next to me in bed, cuddle with just one boy and have a routine for just one boy. Tonight we will drop Blaine off with Bobby's parents. We will return home to make sure my bags are packed, get hospital goodies bag ready, set the alarm for 5am, and probably watch a movie as the almost parents of two boys. Early we will rise Wednesday morning and drive the few miles from our condo to St. Francis Hospital where the staff will begin to prep me for our second sons arrival to the world. Sometime during the day, our parents, family.and friends will be notified Elijah is almost here and they will arrive to meet him and congratulate us as parents of our new baby boy. Yes, the 24...

We named our son. Baby boy #2 is officially Elijah William Clary. I am so excited that I can call him by name and not just Thor. Although I think Thor was a great nickname and may hang around. Bobby thought of the name on Friday night and said it to me. I think Eli is cute too so I started processing the meaning, calling him both Elijah and Eli, the whole name (practicing yelling it out) and we ran it by a few of those we count as dear to us. My sweet niece is not a fan but once she sees him she will love it. On Sunday, Father's Day Bobby announced to his dad and the family the babies full name. I think Bill is honored that the baby is named after him. We respect him so much and I have been a fan of William as a middle name since we found out it was a boy (even with Blaine I mentioned it). During family devotional time tonight everyone was able to feel Eli and daddy mobbed him around some. Bog brother Blaine felt him too bit was a little unsure, although stewards my belly got ...

At yesterday's (Monday's 6-5-13) Ob check up the doctor immediately assessed me as I walked in and the discussion began on when my second reduction would happen. My fluids were already high again. It had been 8 days since my first reduction. After a brief talk between me, Dr and my hubby it was decided that to keep from heading to hospital on emergency I would go in Tuesday morning at 6:45 am to have a second reduction. I took Blaine to mom and dads to stay the night so I would not have to worry about him. Bobby was going to go ahead and go to work so this leaves me alone at hospital. Reduction went relatively smooth since they gave me statal before the whole thing began to keep baby from going nuts like the first time. A second doctor came in to see procedure but was not able to stay the whole time. The doctor took off 2200ml of amniotic fluid filling both vacuum bottles to top with no room left. This reduction seemed to be much more painful since it was done more to my rig...

Good News today Went to see hight risk doctor today and have detailed ultrasound of baby Thor. My fluid was again building up ans now at 32 (25 is high). The baby was also measuring large, in fact he meassured 98% and almost 5 pounds. Those are good things if I have him early, scary if I carry him full term and have 15 pound boy. I will take those risks I guess. Each organ looked to be functioning great and strong pair of lungs. The doctor could not find any issues with anything. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck but not tight and Blaine had the same thing too. He would like to test me weekly for diabetes and continue to do weekly scans of baby, which my regular OB can perform. I have been asked to stop all exercising and no long walks and go easy since my contractions are still happening. Big fear Dr said was a membrane rupturing. I guess that is only thing I don't understand. What are membranes? He said due to water I was already a high risk for that. Dr said I s...

I want to document pretty much everything about this crazy pregnancy now so I don't forget this crazy ride. I posted I had an amnio reduction on Sunday afternoon. My doctor did it since the high risk doctor was not available. He had done many before so I was okay with it. They brought the ultrasound machine into my hospital room, a bucket that said amnio reduction and said let's do this. The nurse laid out the vacuum bottles, needle, gloves, tubing and cleaning material while my doctor measured and checked baby and best place to do the reduction. There are four pockets areas and they want to do the largest and furthest away from baby. Bobby was in the room the whole time and experienced it with me, which was nice. I was asked if I needed numbing meds but told most don't use it. I opted out of the extra shot and went for no meds. The doctor talked the nurse through her steps and they began. I later asked the nurse how common this procedure was and she replied she had only ...

After waking up in pain at 1am on Saturday morning, I took myself and Blaine to Mimi's for help. I took over their massive tub and Blaine got spoiled by his Mimi. The pain lessened for a bit after an hour bath but returned with a vengeance. Called my Dr for advice and received a muscle relaxed. It did dull the pain but revealed I had been having contractions too. Those did not subside so Bobby and I decided to be safe and go to hospital. My amazing Dr was already here so able to assess me and get me on drugs to stop the contractions I was having every two minutes but was barely dilated so that's good. More test, blood, iv, shots that hurt bad-rather stung bad and antibiotics dir to blood in urine. Expected to get a reduction of fluid in morning but taking a pill to help reduce it every two hours now. Crazy...feel like a drug lady. Send Bobby home to get some sleep and so he could bring essentials to me in morning. If reduction goes smooth there is a chance I could be release...

May 22, 2013. Two weeks ago the doctor informed what I thought...I have a lot of amniotic fluid. He was not concerned too much but decided to see me every two weeks. Which brings us to today 5-22-23. Today was different. It was serious and detailed in information. My mom and niece were with me and all I could think was I wish Bobby was here so I could tune this out and just see the baby in the ultrasound. That is my favorite part normally. No pictures today just lots of measuring. I tried and still trying to trust God and not stress. Let me say I am 30 weeks today. I am huge! I look like I put a beach ball under my shirt that weighs as much as a bowling ball. My stomach is tight, hard and very uncomfortable. No stretch marks but I look like I was due yesterday or rather two weeks ago. Strangers and even those close to me think so too. Today I was diagnosed officially with polyhydramnios, meaning too much amniotic fluid. I read and researched the normal fluid lev is between 9-25cm. ...

Today was no easy day. It was a day I will remember for some time I must admit. Heartwrenching, tearful, full of prayers and for myself a plea with God. Today, I watched as a sorority sister lay her son just one day shy of two years old to bed to spend eternity with Jesus. Why does God take the young to be with him I do not know, nor do I understand. The parallels of our lives are way too simular to pass over. Blaine is but 5 months younger than this sweet boy, known for his laughs and hugs. The mother is carrying her second child due in July of this year just a few weeks before I am due. She is from a small town, married only a few years and devoted to the same church we attend, just a different campus. It could have been Blaine God took. I thank God daily it was not. I do not want my faith tested to see if I could pass such a test. I am not sure. When Bobby fell, I knew we would struggle and survive and we did. When Blaine was born and co.instantly sick, I knew he would get bet...

Wednesday was my Wal-Mart day. Put all things on my.list and went. Thought I did pretty good and Blaine behaved. Bobby wanted burgers so I got the stuff for that too. After working out, I started cooking when I realized...we have no cheese. Well, you can't have burgers without cheese can you. So I grabbed my wallet, told Bobby to watch food and headed for the over priced Dollar Store, where nothing is a dollar. Got cheese and opened whet to find no card to pay with. Checked care, told cashier I would be back, realized I had $3 in changed but then saw cheese was over $4 so again said I would be back when something happened. Sweet lady behind me showed me that just cause I live in Tulsa foes not mean there is not small town kindness. She paid for the cheese, looked at me and said, "don't worry it is baby brain." I told her I had even been to WM that day with my 18month old but still could not remember anything. Gave the lady a hug and headed the one block home. When ...